The short answer is no. And yes. Let me explain.
During your time in the firehouse you will be exposed to every possible opinion, viewpoint and belief. Many of these will offend you. Some of them very much.
While responding to calls for service you will encounter the sick, the beaten, the burned and the neglected. Your emotions will chase from fear to anger to confusion. So will your co-workers’ emotions. Someone will say something they think is funny to break the awkwardness of the moment, thinking that is the right reaction to somber silence. It is important that you focus on what I just mentioned. “Something they think is funny,” because far too many firefighters I’ve met are simply crude, not funny.
A sense of humor is what you’ll need to ignore them, not what you’ll need to move on from what you will see, hear, and experience in your career. The ability to laugh does release chemicals that help you feel better, but laughter is only the beginning, not the ending.
Many of the things your co-workers will think are funny are actually crude, inappropriate and insensitive. They may often include a reference to a call you recently went on or something in the news.
They may even share these thoughts or images on sharing media sites. When they do it’ll likely include something about “You need a sense of humor” or “Grow a thick skin or get out” or even mention something about how anyone who questions the appropriateness of the image is simply a hater.
The folks who share these crude jokes are trying to be funny. They’re trying to take their own advice and have a sense of humor, but they fail to see the impact their images have on those of us sensitive to those topics for different reasons.
For example, in my feed recently was a crude drawing of a person hanging themselves and a paramedic nearby eating popcorn. I commented that the photo was unprofessional and asked the poster to take it down out of respect for others. What did I get for my trouble? I was told to take my “butt hurt” home and grow thicker skin. A number of commenters told me I would understand the need for humor when I had “more street time.”
I had to blink a few times to make sure I read the screen properly. “More street time.” Apparently what they mean is that the more people I see soon after they commit suicide the funnier that stupid drawing is going to get? News flash, pal: if that was true I’d be the funniest guy in the room.
It is rare to find someone in the second half of their career who believes crude humor is the appropriate response after being a witness to humanity at its lowest moments. The pain, the fear and the confusion that these scenes leave behind cannot be filled by a bad joke.
Those new to our ranks will be quick with “gallows humor,” thinking that an obscene joke is appropriate in the moments when you’re trying to come to terms with what you just saw. No matter how many times they tell you to grow a thick skin and get over it ... don’t.
It is OK to laugh awkwardly — more at their sad attempt to cope with trauma than their horrible sense of humor. Just try to hold your laughter when they burn out in a few years. It has been my experience that those who partake in the grimmest and most inappropriate of humor won’t last long in the fire service.
Jokes are great. Some of the best laughs I’ve ever had have been in uniform, but never has a crude humor laugh led to my dealing with something traumatic. Quite the opposite in fact.
Do you need a sense of humor in this job? Yes.
Does that involve inappropriate, crude and demeaning comments aimed at smiling instead of crying? No.
Think I need to grow a thicker skin? Maybe get a few years more on the street, then I’ll understand?
That’s hilarious.
